Today is the official book launch day for Stepping Into More by Rachel Karu! To celebrate the launch, the author is organizing a giveaway with awesome prizes!
Rachel is the founder and owner of RAE Development, a professional and personal development firm committed to helping organizations and individuals achieve success, productivity and fulfillment.
Described by her clients as “a gifted coach and facilitator who is both intuitive and pragmatic,” Rachel brings more than 19 years of Human Resources, training, coaching and speaking support to her clients. Rachel’s clients include Raytheon, Mattel, US Navy, Nestle, Braille Institute, Disney/ABC, and more. She holds an MS in Counseling for Business and is a Certified Coach.
In addition to writing, Rachel is also a soulful singer who enthralls her audiences with songs that evoke Adele, Carole King and Barbara Streisand. Rachel motivates others to maximize their strengths, work through perfectionism, be proactive, and take charge of their lives and careers, in order to live an integrated, fulfilled life. Incorporating singing and music into her programs allows Rachel to creatively deliver these foundational messages in a meaningful way. Rachel is happily married and the proud mother of two amazing children. She enjoys singing, dancing, traveling and spending quality time with her family.
Excerpt from Stepping Into More – Lessons from a Recovering Perfectionist
The title of this memoir and guide – Stepping into More, is all about the process of grappling with our various aspects and learning how to make clear choices. Throughout the story you will hear me refer to three aspects of myself “The Three Ps”: the Perfectionist Gremlin, the Performer, and the Professional. Let me expand on these concepts.
Gremlin - is a term that describes the inner voices that hates change and demands the status quo. They are the old tapes we continually play in our heads that attempt to keep us safe or make us small; the truth is that they often keep us from moving forward and getting what we want out of life. One of my strongest Gremlins is my slave driver the Perfectionist. She tells me that I am not enough and provides me with unrealistic expectations I can never achieve.
Professional – is my definition for my personas. Personas are a way for us to shield ourselves. My Professional person is usually polite and diplomatic – sometimes to a fault. When I am in this mode I often hold back my truth. I choose to say what I think will be accepted so that I can “fit in.” When I am wearing this mask, I am trying to fit into someone else’s image of who I “should” be.
Performer – is when I am authentically connected to myself and others. When I am in this wonderful zone, I am loving and accepting myself by following my intuition and instincts. I am leading from my heart versus my head and I am truing that I know what to do in any given moment. I am giving myself the space and freedom to be vulnerable and truly “be.”
I can alternate between these different profiles during a single conversation, and can feel all “three P’s” coming into play when I perform. While preparing for a performance, I experience a conflict between the Performer and the Perfectionist Gremlin My Performer wants to create music from the heart and to trust my instincts about remembering the lyrics and connecting with the audience. My Perfectionist imagines an empty house, worries about presenting a package that will please everyone, is sure I won’t remember the lyrics and doubts my talent.
Just before going onstage, I can feel myself struggling with the fear that I won’t be able to let go and hear my Performer voice, the one that will serve me best throughout the show.
As an adult on stage, I tend to vacillate between all three. I am certainly the Professional as I am speaking to the audience and sharing my “patter” in between songs. I am energetic, polite and polished. I script out what I will say and pretty much stick to what I have planned. I know when my Performer has shown up because that’s when I will improvise or suddenly make a funny remark. I am in tune with what is going on in the moment and I follow my intuition and speak freely. My Performer is also at play when I acknowledge and make light of any mistakes that have occurred during the show. I am in my ultimate Performer zone when I am singing and allowing myself to feel the music. I am breathing deeply and feeling a warm sensation over my heart and in my hands; my body is moving freely and I am at ease. Those are the moments I cherish.
And then suddenly, in the middle of a song, my Perfectionist rears up and whispers that I won’t remember the next lyric or judges the way I have delivered a note. It’s a constant battle.
When I allow my Performer to lead, I am most grounded and can enjoy life. However, my Perfectionist does serve me by keeping me on top of all the details my life requires. And, I must acknowledge my Professional as the one who is best at keeping it together in difficult situations, and at making a nice presentation.
The key to Stepping into More is to give each aspect of ourselves a voice so that we can make a conscious choice in any given situation (a constant juggling act). The goal is to recognize that our Gremlins (sorry to tell you that nearly everyone has several) are merely aspects of who we are. We need to be aware of their existence in order to stop the “knee-jerk reaction” that allows them take the driver’s seat in our lives.
My challenge is to catch myself in the moment, make a deliberate choice about which aspect will serve me best, and then to forgive myself when any one of them goes overboard. These may not be easy tasks but they are all part of my journey as a Recovering Perfectionist.
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My gremlin is saying write that book you always wanted to write. Tore923@aol.com
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