Friendship at 4 is innocent. It is requests to play with her best friend and greeting each other with excitement and a giant hug. Even when they fight about which toys to play with and they don't always want to share they do not stay upset for long.
Friendship at 4 is moving easily between groups of friends. It is realizing that we see some friends at preschool, some at church, and some around our neighborhood but making no distinction. These friends are not "better" than those friends.
Friendship at 4 is playing with friends even when they are not around. The dolls and play people receive the names of her friends or she talks to them on her play cell phone. Friends are not forgotten when she plays alone.
I will be saddened when she reaches the age where friendship is no longer so innocent. I watch the young teen girls in our neighborhood and see how they turn on each other so quickly over misunderstandings. They travel in packs and leave the weakest behind or, even worse, run them off. I know that eventually the loss of a friendship for whatever reason will cause her pain and that is a pain I wish that I could help her avoid.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean! I teach sixth grade, and my students leave my class to go on to a new school next year. All the drama ensues. It's a painful time. :( Most of them make it through middle school with good friends, even if they might be new friends. Eventually they learn to be good friends to each other again, but sadly it's never as innocent again.
ReplyDeleteLinda
The innocence of young friendship is a bubble which adults just cannot join no matter how much we may want to – and worse, we generally feel we know 'better' than to be so naive with our friendships and relationships, because ultimately, people teach each other that it is a rare person who can be trusted. On the other hand, true adult friendships usually don't end - even temporarily - because of silly fights or a simple lack of physical proximity.
ReplyDeleteI can still remember getting 'flat leaved' by my best friend once. That hurt.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Angela.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up is tough and friendships can be hard. Whatever your girls may face in the future they will have a great mum to turn to :)
My daughter is six and still solidly in innocence. It will be sad to see her face the days I did, when the friends you had aren't there anymore. :(
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post, Angela. The 'Mean Girls' attitude can be so damaging and hurtful. I hope she is able to continue to be surrounded by friends who appreciate her!
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